It is a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer

heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer

heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer

fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer

fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of

sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks

than Americans.

The conclusion?

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.